The Parents' Page
Stories about Bridgton Academy as told by the parents of Bridgton Academy students.
We are two days away from the "three week" mark. Per the folks at the school, that's about the amount of time it will take for my son to get adjusted to being at Bridgton Academy. What a roller coaster ride this time has been - for all of us!
The reasons why my son is attending BA seem pretty common. He graduated as one of the younger members of his class. He lost a year of playing high school football due to an injury. He's using this year as an extra year of academics and football experience in order to be successful in college. And all the reasons why he needs to be there are the reasons why it is challenging. The majority of his friends are off to college with girls, and parties, and sleeping in. He's getting early morning football, structure, time management skills, and mandatory study halls each evening for two hours. No girls, no parties and not so much sleeping in.
No one ever said parenting was going to be this hard. You know the expression, "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it'll hurt you."? Let's start ten miles from Bridgton to drop our son off. His nine year old brother informs us that his older brother is crying. We look back and there he is, sobbing, holding onto his girlfriend of one year. This is where the hard parenting comes in. I want to say, "Turn around, he doesn't have to do this. He can go to community college." But instead I say, "You can do this.". I turn around and look straight ahead.
It's true a parent is only as happy as his/her saddest child. I got the first call less than 12 hours after dropping him off. The calls we got were from a tired, scared kid, 10 hours away, who just wanted to come home. I felt helpless. It was a really rough first 4 days. From there, it got a bit easier. The next few days we heard, "I'm really trying, but I still want to come home.". I couldn't help my child to understand that this was all going to be okay. I tried not to hover and I tried to remove myself a bit. I checked in with his advisor several times so he could talk me "off the ledge." Those calls were really helpful. The advisor had just gotten off the phone from another parent with similar concerns. His/Her son was going through the same emotions as my son. It was helpful knowing not only was my son not alone in what he was feeling, neither was I. Knowing that made it easier to keep my message consistent, "I understand it's hard and a huge adjustment. You can do this.".
The second week was filled with contradictions. We received calls and texts telling us what we needed to get for him, i.e. a new phone plan as T-mobile gets very sketchy reception in Bridgton. In the next breath, he'd be talking about coming home.
We decided to travel up to Bridgton for the first football game. This was a really good decision. It was helpful to be able to focus on the upcoming visit during phone calls. In addition, we talked about classes (He's liking them), teachers (He's liking them) and dorm mates ("We've become really close.") It was a wonderful visit.. It had been 17 days. It's hard to believe until you experience it, but this weekend I saw bits of the transformation already. He's leaner (I swear he's grown). He seems to carry himself differently. He seems more mature.
We brought his girlfriend along for the weekend. I was a bit leery as to whether or not leaving BA without him, would start that huge separation anxiety again. You know, like when you have to walk out of the room as your baby is trying to get to sleep. Will they start to scream again or will they understand that you are on the other side of the door and they are safe? Today, I'm relieved to say, I really think he understands we're just on the other side of the door.
As told by a current parent for the Class of 2011.